Cowdery Pulls into the Lead for Coveted Gigabyte Prize.

Another ‘not guilty’ plea came in from the Corrupt Bastards Club today. This time it’s John Cowdery, who entered the courtroom in a wheelchair being pushed by his attorney.

Boy, we’ve seen it all – hardships and sad stories, children without fathers, tears, pleas for postponements, standing on roadsides with signs, health issues of various forms….it’s just painful to watch.

In medieval times, they used to put heads on pikes and leave them on display as a cautionary warning to those contemplating lives of crime. That was 800 years ago…you’d think people would have figured it out by now. Despite Cowdery’s insistence of his innocence, I think Alaskans are about ready to see another one of those figurative heads up there on the ramparts.

We’re pretty used to this by now, and nothing out of the ordinary happened today.  However, it’s worthy of note that although Ted Stevens lawyers were told to get a 500-gigabyte hard drive in order to obtain the gargantuan amount of evidence to be used against him, Cowder’s lawyer was told he needed a 750-gigabyte drive!  Holy moly, folks.  We may have found the winner of the gigabyte prize.  Although, we haven’t heard from the favorite yet.  I think Don Young may have them both beat.  We’ll see.

Vic Kohring Wins Free “Vacation”!

Well, it’s another red letter day on the Corrupt Bastards Calendar. Vic Kohring is headed to The Grey Bar Hotel in Sunny California. After his last desperate attempt to keep from going to prison last week, I had expected today to arrive with lots of kicking and screaming for the former Wasilla representative. Not so.

In what can only be described as a bizarre display of….bizarreness, Mr. Kohring stood beside the Glenn Highway this morning eating cookies, and waving to passers-by under a huge sign with his name on it, and the giant orange spray painted addendum “THANKS ALASKA”. No word yet on whether he’s caused any accidents.

Saying that he isn’t afraid of prison, he added “It’s almost like going away on vacation. A Government sponsored vacation.”

Kohring begins his prison term the same way he got himself in trouble in the first place…begging for money. Stating that he couldn’t afford the flight to Taft, the private prison in California he’ll be calling home for the next three and a half years, marshals will escort Kohring to Taft after he surrenders here in Anchorage on Monday. So, you and I are footing even more of the bill for Vic’s “Government sponsored vacation”. Maybe that’s why the sign said ‘THANK YOU’ instead of ‘I’M SORRY’?

You can enjoy the whole story from Kyle Hopkins at the ADN website.

Corrupt Bastard Minority Leader Testifies.

Corrupt Bastard minority leader (read Democrat) state senator Donny Olson testified before a grand jury in Anchorage on Wednesday. You’ll recall he was the only Democratic member of the CBC (Corrupt Bastards Club) to have his offices searched in August of 2006. The other five were Republicans.

Information is scant, and we’re not even sure he’s the target of this particular phase of the investigation. We’re all trying to be patient here, but it’s coming up to the two year mark! By the time this is all over, investigators will have the equivalent of an Associates Degree in corrupt bastardom. Let’s hope it’s not a Bachelor’s Degree.

This may be connected to the rumored Ben Stevens indictment that’s coming down the trail. Or it may not. These days, glimpses of the investigation are like whale watching. Oooo! Look, there’s one! And then it slips away into the murky depths. And so we wait. How long are they supposed to be able to hold their breath, before they have to come up again?

Corrupt Bastard Dominos!

This is great!  Check out Ray Metcalfe’s website, and play corrupt bastard dominos!  He’s got a nice header, and when you click it, you can see a whole string of corrupt bastards starting with Bill Allen, and ending with ‘Uncle Ted’ Stevens who falls last, with a satisfying thwack, right on his face.  I did actually laugh out loud and confess to playing this little game more than once. Kinda like throwing darts, without leaving a hole in your wall.  It just feels goooood. Here’s the link –  Try it!