The Bridge from Hell.

Ah, another Alaskan bridge.

Will the Knik Arm Bridge be our next infamous ‘Bridge to Nowhere’? Seems like we’re taking steps in that direction. The unholy trinity of Rep. Don Young, ex-Senator/ex-Governor Frank Murkowski, and ex-mayor George Wuerch saw to it that the concept of a bridge across Knik Arm (directly to the land at Pt. McKenzie held by various family and friends) got a big influx of cash. And the planning began. They planned and they planned. They got paid to plan, and they kept on planning.

$41.5 MILLION later….

Enter new administration. Words like ‘pork barrel spending’ are heard. People start asking questions. Sarah ‘You Guys are in Big Trouble’ Palin now says the whole project needs reevaluation.

DUM-DA-DUM DUM.

Rats begin leaping from the bridge. First went Deputy Director of the bridge authority Darryl Jordan. (eeeeeee! Splash.) He said that since he believed this project wasn’t going anywhere soon, he thought it would be best to find a “real project”. Maybe getting $130,000 a year to work on a fantasy project was gnawing at his conscience? Right.

The next leaping rat was aforementioned ex-mayor George Wuerch. Before taking his own flying leap, he wrote a letter to Sarah Palin in which he explained, “It’s been a long, slow and expensive process.” Yes, George…we noticed. (eeeeeee! Splash.)

Now, all this may look bad, but we are assured by Mary Pease, spokesperson for the bridge authority, that “the project couldn’t be more on track in terms of trying to tie together the community and the administrative folks, than ever before”. So, we can rest easy. They are on track to try. They are more on track to try than EVER. There’s no way they could be MORE on track to try than they are right now. And, I bet if we keep throwing more money at them, they will continue to remain firmly and squarely on track to try.

Let’s see…that’s $600 million for the bridge…no wait..it’s more like $1 Billion now, plus $25 million a year for each year we delay, plus $200+ million for the Gambell St. access, plus $1.1 million in payroll for the planners every year…minus $130,000 a year for Darrell Jordan’s salary since they’re not replacing him. Ever wonder how much the toll is going to end up being? Will they take credit cards?

Don Young’s In…Let the Games Begin!

It’s official, folks. Don Young has tossed his hat in the ring vying for his 19th term in Congress. One thing that his competitors Ethan Berkowitz (D), Diane Benson (D), and Sean Parnell (R) will NOT be short of this election season is ammunition. As a moment of tribute, I dug up this excellent retrospective from the wonderful people at TPM Muckraker. I wonder if they’ll actually be a little sad to have the Don unseated. It seems like half their material in the past couple years has featured Alaska’s lone representative….’the bitin’ mink’. So break out the Jiffy Pop, kick back and enjoy six minutes of “the one-man mud wrestling match” that is your representative, Don Young.

Berkowitz vs. Parnell? Say it Ain’t So!

CQ Politics has a great summary of the current statistics and intrigue in Alaska’s upcoming House race.  It speaks of the looming specter of Sean Parnell unseating Don Young in the primary and making the seat harder to win for a Democratic opponent.  Flashback to the Murkowski/Palin scenario.

See my previous post “Operation Chaos. (Only good)” for a devious bit of ‘strategery’.

One of Berkowitz’ pluses is the fact that Alaska needs representation in the majority party.  And I believe it’s going to be the majority party for a good long time.

 

Don Young’s Late Night Mystery Meeting?

Tonight in Anchorage the Hispanic Affairs Council invited all candidates running for Alaska’s sole House seat to a forum.   Ahem!  Roll call, please!  Sean Parnell?…check.  Gabrielle LeDoux?….check.  Diane Benson?….check.  Ethan Berkowitz?…check.  Hmmm.  Someone’s missing.  Who might it be?  Ah, yes. Don Young….    Don?  Are you here Don?  (crickets)

Of course not.  After agreeing to attend the forum via teleconference from Washington D.C., the congressman suddenly canceled at the last minute, due to (get this) a ‘scheduling conflict’.  A scheduling conflict from 9-11 pm Eastern time?  What might this secret nighttime meeting be?  A conference with his pillow?  Poor time management? He obviously didn’t make time to attend the grow-a-spine seminar. 

It shouldn’t surprise us that he turned tail at the prospect of meeting face-to-virtual-face with those chomping at the bit to end his 18-term career.  He’s been dodging the media, the public, and any question-asking entity for months now.  Questions are just too darned uncomfortable.

Coming on the heels of the announcement yesterday that the special Legal Defense Fund he set up (after already spending more than $1.1 million on legal fees) had shown ‘no activity’ in its first reporting period, this has been a bad week for the Don. 

He’ll have to surface at some point if he hopes to make a serious run.  We’re waiting….

Stevens Beats Young by a Nose!

The latest result for the coveted honor of “Least Popular Member of the Alaska Congressional Delegation” are in! Crowds were stunned when in a surprise slow motion finish, Ted Stevens beat Don Young by a nose in both the Unfavorable, and Very Unfavorable categories!

Very Unfavorable – Stevens wins 11% to 10%

Unfavorable – Stevens wins 28% to 27%

And the best news of all is that Mark Begich beats Ted Stevens by a whopping 5%, merely weeks after declaring his candidacy. And Ethan Berkowitz is ahead of Don Young by double digits if the match-up were held today.

Here are the vital stats available in full at:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/5/15/12326/5308/445/516209

Ohhhhhh, this is gonna be good.

Operation Chaos! (only good)

As much as I enjoy hearing words like “embattled” when they precede the name Don Young, I’m finding myself a little conflicted. I want him to be embattled, but not too embattled. Here’s why. Recent Hays Research Group polls have Don Young (whose legal bills recently topped the $1 million dollar mark, despite the fact he hasn’t even been indicted yet) trailing his likely Democratic opponent Ethan Berkowitz. Now before you get too excited about this, those same polls have him in a statistical tie with his fellow Republican opponent in the primary, Sean Parnell.

A sticky situation… Yes, Sean Parnell would be a giant step above Don Young, Alaska’s most embarrassing politician, but after what seems like an eternity of Don Young politics, I  want MORE.  Parnell would be more difficult for Berkowitz to beat in the general election, but a Berkowitz vs. Young matchup would be a bloodbath.

So, what to do? First some background, in case you’ve been living in a remote cabin for the last few months. Some time ago, Rush Limbaugh declared “Operation Chaos” and his dittoheads dutifully showed up en masse to vote in the Democratic primary for Clinton, believing she will be easier to beat than Obama in a general election. Devious, and potentially effective in a close race.

So, backatcha.  The gloves are off. Here’s the 3-step plan, if you can stomach it.

On primary day:

1. Take a big swig of Mylanta, Pepto Bismol, or whiskey. Your choice.
2. Vote for Don Young.
3. Take another big swig of Mylanta, Pepto Bismol, or whiskey. Your choice.

Then when he wins, giggle with delight, and vote for his Democratic opponent in November.

Now, there is a little snag here. You cannot vote in the Republican primary if you are a registered Democrat or Green. However, if you are a registered Republican, Independent, Non-partisan, Libertarian or Republican Moderate, then the game is on. Devious, and potentially effective in a close race.

So, let’s not settle for second-worst. We want it ALL! Tell your friends, and let “Operation Chaos” (or perhaps “Operation Kaos” for you Get Smart fans) begin!

Why Does Don Young Hate Your Mother?

Today, along with 177  other Republicans in the House, Don Young voted ‘nay’ against House Resolution 1113, “Celebrating the role of mothers in the United States and supporting the goals and ideals of Mother’s Day”.  Yes, you read that correctly, but I’ll give you another minute if you want to go over it agian.

(pause)

I looked it up, just to be sure, but I already knew which way he voted.  There he was, congressman for ‘all Alaska’ in the big red “nay” column.  All the other states had split votes, so at least citizens there could claim that their entire representation wasn’t completely insane, just some.  But alas, your representative – your only representative – decided to vote against not only his mother, and your mother, but the concept of honoring motherhood in general.  What’s next HR-666 banning apple pie? 

Let’s add a little more to our ‘you can’t make this stuff up’ theme.  First we need to wiiiind the clock back to Wednesday afternoon (insert blurry visuals and harp music here).  The House has just voted 411 to ZERO in FAVOR of the bill.  Enter Todd Tiahrt (R-KS) who moved to reconsider the vote.  That’s when the Republicans jumped ship, and voted against Moms.  Even the Republican representative who ‘birthed’ the bill (forgive the analogy) voted against it!  I can almost feel the whiplash.

The supposed reason for this switcheroo was to purposely bring House business to a screeching halt.  So whose brainchild was this one? 

Todd Tiahrt:  (rubbing hands together) “I know…We’ll show those lousy Democrats!  We’ll all say we’re going to vote to support the concept of motherhood, then, when they least expect it, we’ll vote it down!  That’ll show ’em!”  

Don Young: (thinking to himself, stroking his chin and sitting in front of his giant self-portrait) You know? That’s so crazy, it just might work!

Folks, pass the Jujubees, I think we have a front row seat for the mortal panic, and impending nervous breakdown of the minority Republican Party.  Act II in November is going to be reeeeeally ugly.

And I don’t know if Don Young’s mother is still alive, but if she is, there aren’t enough flowers in Washington.