Why Does Don Young Hate Your Mother?

10 05 2008

Today, along with 177  other Republicans in the House, Don Young voted ‘nay’ against House Resolution 1113, “Celebrating the role of mothers in the United States and supporting the goals and ideals of Mother’s Day”.  Yes, you read that correctly, but I’ll give you another minute if you want to go over it agian.

Congressman for All Alaska - Don Young

(pause)

I looked it up, just to be sure, but I already knew which way he voted.  There he was, congressman for ‘all Alaska’ in the big red “nay” column.  All the other states had split votes, so at least citizens there could claim that their entire representation wasn’t completely insane, just some.  But alas, your representative – your only representative – decided to vote against not only his mother, and your mother, but the concept of honoring motherhood in general.  What’s next HR-666 banning apple pie? 

Let’s add a little more to our ‘you can’t make this stuff up’ theme.  First we need to wiiiind the clock back to Wednesday afternoon (insert blurry visuals and harp music here).  The House has just voted 411 to ZERO in FAVOR of the bill.  Enter Todd Tiahrt (R-KS) who moved to reconsider the vote.  That’s when the Republicans jumped ship, and voted against Moms.  Even the Republican representative who ‘birthed’ the bill (forgive the analogy) voted against it!  I can almost feel the whiplash.

The supposed reason for this switcheroo was to purposely bring House business to a screeching halt.  So whose brainchild was this one? 

Todd Tiahrt:  (rubbing hands together) “I know…We’ll show those lousy Democrats!  We’ll all say we’re going to vote to support the concept of motherhood, then, when they least expect it, we’ll vote it down!  That’ll show ’em!”  

Don Young: (thinking to himself, stroking his chin and sitting in front of his giant self-portrait) You know? That’s so crazy, it just might work!

Folks, pass the Jujubees, I think we have a front row seat for the mortal panic, and impending nervous breakdown of the minority Republican Party.  Act II in November is going to be reeeeeally ugly.

And I don’t know if Don Young’s mother is still alive, but if she is, there aren’t enough flowers in Washington. 


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