The Palin Talking Point Generator.

24 10 2008
The Palin Talking Point Machine

Behold, The Palin Talking Point Generator!

At the Alaska State Fair, and other craft shows around town, I’ve seen a little device that makes me smile and think, “Only in Alaska.”  It’s the carved wooden likeness of a moose.  The hollow moose body can be filled with jelly beans.  The tail, which is moveable, is used as a lever, which, when operated, dispenses a jelly bean “moose nugget” in the palm of your hand.  It’s beginning to remind me of the Palin campaign.

Their strategy has become obvious.  Crank out a steady stream of half-truths, talking points, wedge issues, folksy filler words, justifications and shiny, sweet flat-out lies.  Do this fast enough, and by the time anyone takes the time to review, research, analyze, debunk, refute, and thoughtfully respond, you’re already five piles of moose nuggets ahead of them.

Picture a five year old who gets a hold of the moose nugget generator, pumping that tail up and down as fast as his little hand can go, watching that big sticky pile accumulate in his hand.  Yum.

It’s hard to know where to start, but let’s start with the interview she did with the Chicago Tribune today.  And which nugget?  Let’s try that nice shiny green one.

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin insisted in an interview with the Tribune on Thursday that she did not accept $150,000 worth of designer clothes from the Republican Party and “that is not who we are.” “That whole thing is just, bad!” she said. “Oh, if people only knew how frugal we are.”

Oh, dear.  It sounds like she’s been very misunderstood indeed.  People are so petty!  But, wait a minute….hasn’t she…been..wearing those clothes?  And….that’s the dollar amount that the RNC reported in their own disclosure forms.   If you pay nothing, and get $150,000 in clothing, hair styling and makeup, that sounds pretty frugal to me.  I just don’t get it. She’s not making any sense…WAIT!  Another jelly bean!  Look, it’s pink!

“I think Hillary Clinton was held to a different standard in her primary race,” Palin said. “Do you remember the conversations that took place about her, say superficial things that they don’t talk about with men, her wardrobe and her hairstyles, all of that? That’s a bit of that double standard.”

Hillary Clinton?  Double standard?  Wait a minute.  There may be something to that, but I don’t think Hillary Clinton spent $150,000 of the DNC’s money to buy a new wardrobe.  Her Senate wardrobe was just fine, just like…um….a Governor’s wardrobe should be, right?  And what about John Edwards and that $400 hair cut?  The Republicans had a field day over that one!   Oh….look!  A yellow one!

“I’m not going to complain about it, I’m not going to whine about it, I’m going to plow through that, because we are embarking on something greater than that, than allowing that double standard to adversely affect us,” she said.

We know American’s do NOT like complainers and whiners, that’s for sure.  That’s pretty much the kiss of death for a politician.  So it’s good she’s not complaining, except for saying it’s unfair, and sexist, and there’s a double standard, and people don’t understand the real her, and it’s painful because….heeeeeyy.  Come to think of it, that actually kind of sounds like complaining and whining to me!  That’s pretty hypocritic…..Oooo!  Another one!  It’s red!

But polls suggest that McCain is in trouble, partly because of Palin, who has been criticized as lacking the experience to become president. This week’s NBC/Wall Street Journal poll suggested more people now think that Palin is hurting McCain’s chances of becoming president than President George W. Bush, whose national approval ratings are in the 20s.

Palin disputed such conclusions.

“I think that those reporters asking those questions should come to some of our rallies and ask some of those in the crowd why it is they are enthused,” she said, adding that the crowds see her as representing “hardworking, everyday American families.”

But the Wall Street Journal/NBC poll isn’t actually made up of questions asked by reporters.  It’s questions asked by pollsters, and it’s done in a pretty scientific sort of way.  I don’t think it would really be appropriate to send pollsters to your rallies to ask them why they are there.  You see, that wouldn’t really be impartial, or be a representative sample of the way the country is thinking, which is why we actually have polls.  And the voters are made up of people from all over, not just “enthused” McCain-Palin rally-goers… Surely, you can’t possibly think that people will take this seriou….

OK, I need to stop now…my stomach hurts.  I think I’ve overdone it on the moose nugget jelly beans.  Anyone on the other ticket got some Alka-Seltzer?

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