As Thanksgiving approaches, it’s time to think of gratitude. I have a lot to be thankful for this year, but in particular I’m thankful to Sarah Palin. I was saving this post for Thanksgiving Day, but events have convinced me to say it now.
There are lots of things for which I’m thankful to Sarah Palin. I’m thankful for her interview with Katie Couric. I’m thankful she knows nothing about foreign relations or her native tongue. I’m thankful that she doesn’t know what she reads, because she doesn’t. I’m thankful she doesn’t remember any Supreme Court decisions like Baker vs. Exxon.
I’m thankful for her End Times, Evangelical witch-exorcising pastor. I’m thankful for her irresponsible fiscal policies. I’m thankful she and her daughter who both conceived children out of wedlock feel that abstinence only sex education is the best policy.
I’m thankful she thinks fruit fly research is silly, and that she wants to teach creationism in public schools. I’m thankful she tried to fire a librarian who found the concept of book censoring unacceptable.
I’m thankful that when the Legislative investigation found her guilty of violating ethics law, she said she was glad to have been found innocent.
I’m thankful she spent $150,000 on a wardrobe, and that she winked at the camera during the Vice Presidential debate. I’m thankful she took a prank phone call from “Nicholas Sarkozy” without telling anyone. I’m thankful she “went rogue” in the last weeks of the campaign.
And I’m really thankful she shared all four versions of the inspiring story of how she accepted the Vice Presidential nomination. I can’t decide which one I liked best. It’s a tie between “I didn’t blink”, and the one where she sat everyone down and had a family meeting and a vote to decide if it was the best course of action for the family. But, I digress.
Basically, I’m thankful that she felt so darn comfortable just bein’ herself. And I’m thankful she blew the election for John McCain. I’d like to believe he would have lost anyway, but it’s good to have an insurance policy.
But now, a new layer of complexity is added to my gratitude. I’d like to say thank you to the people who are saying thank you to Sarah Palin.
At first, I thought this was a brilliant satirical masterwork by our friends over at The Onion, or perhaps another jewel from Andy Borowitz. But, no. It’s actually REAL. I haven’t laughed that hard in a good long while….and laughter is good for the soul.
My favorite part was:
“We thank you for your passionate, hopeful and articulate advocacy of common sense conservative values.”
The emphasis was not mine. He really emphasized that word. (Dabbing eyes) And they also somehow managed to find the only two African-Americans that didn’t vote for Obama.
So thank you crazy conservative Our Country PAC people! You made my day.