My mother is a die-hard Democrat. A while ago, she called me and told me how upset she was at Rush Limbaugh. I asked her why on Earth she was listening to Rush Limbaugh, and she said, “Know your enemy.” Taking this maternal advice to heart, I decided to subscribe to the Human Events newsletter. That’s Newt Gingrich’s little pet project, and it features writing from the likes of Ann Coulter.
I read this newsletter, so you don’t have to, and frankly most of the time there really isn’t much to say about it. It’s a steady stream of reactionary fear-mongering drivel, occasionally punctuated with hateful diatribe, and sprinkled with ignorance. But this particular newsletter almost made me choke on my tongue. Behold the Republican Grand Strategy:
I’ll keep my guns, freedom, and money. You can keep “the change!” Vote Sarah Palin for President in 2012! The Liberal Media wants you to think that Sarah Palin held John McCain back. We all know that John McCain’s campaign surged ahead because of Sarah. She’s a rising star in the GOP and could easily defeat Barack Obama in 2012! The Palin Revolution is about to break out and you can be on the cutting edge with this clever new bumper sticker! This 2-PACK includes one for each of your vehicles, whether it’s your gas guzzlin’ SUV, pick-up truck, or “hockey mom” minivan!
Wow. I really didn’t make any of that up, I promise. Not even the part about “your gas guzzlin’ SUV”. Not only is Sarah Palin a parody of herself, but now it’s the whole Human Events team. I still don’t know if I want to fight Palin 2012 with every fiber of my being, or whether her candidacy would be the final salvo that would shatter the hull of the GOP and sent it plummeting to the bottom of the ocean.