I’m off to bed after a long evening of Trolling! (The weary hunter recounts the tale) For the most part, I actually like troll hunting. It’s pretty easy, and I always win. I like grabbing them by the scruff of their little post, and flinging them out into the mudflats. The motion is kind of like throwing a discus, only there’s a long eeeeeeeeeeeee! sound, followed by a satisfying ~~~~~~~~~~~~~SPLAT! at the end.
And thanks to those of you who alert me via email. You guys are on the ball! It’s also fun to see where the trolls are coming from. I’ve been keeping score, hoping to see a trend, but so far they are fairly evenly dispersed. The only state with more than one troll so far is Arizona….Hmmm.
Interesting to see what draws them here, too. The ACORN post was like troll candy!! Some of them even try to figure out how to get back once they’ve been flung. It’s kind of sad/funny to watch them in the spam queue changing their screen names, and emails, trying to worm their way back in.
I imagine them all now having a TrollStock together out in the Mudflats – the homophobe, the racist, the socialist-phobe, the woman who hates feminists, the one who sites Rush Limbaugh as a news source, the one that thinks “librails are marons”, just sitting around in the muck.
But the real news of the night is Brian! There was a little kerfuffle today. I can see a trail from my house, and today a guy with a dog was taking a little hike. I recognized thd dog….it’s the one that always chases my car and makes me crazy! All of a sudden the dog started barking and ran over to a large dark object in the bushes. He spotted Brian. This time of year, Brian is not fond of being tormented by dogs. The weather has turned cold, there are no more succulent green things to eat, and his thoughts and hormones have turned to…love. Dogs do not factor in to this equation. The dog, however, does not realize this. All of a sudden Brian had had about enought of this annoying creature, started snorting, grunting, spinning around in circles with his antlers down….and charged. So of course, the dog is now a little freaked out with this giant set of antlers heading straight at him, and decides the best thing to do is to hide behind the human’s legs. The human is not pleased with this tactic.
As I’m watching this…much too far away to do anything, the group of three changes position and relocates behind some trees and shrubbery. A moment later, out pops the human running as fast as his legs will carry him, arms flailing in an almost Monty Python-esque way. Then comes the dog after him, likewise. Fortunately, Brian did not follow, and disaster was averted.
Moral of the story: If you’re hiking in the woods in Alaska during rutting season with a dog that likes to chase cars, keep it on a leash.